They’re gonna eat me alive.

Lately, I’ve had strange out-of-body experiences; Where I just separate my mind from my body and watch myself do really stupid things. It’s like watching a really tragic movie, over and over again. The past week or so has been such a trip. I’m in the middle of fall cleaning, and I’m trying to decide who to keep, and who to lose. Why I do this, cannot be explained; But it always seems very necessary. Really, in retrospective, I guess I could just try to wait it all out and stop being such a OCD maniac. You know, I doubt I could act like a normal human being if I really tried my best. I have such the tendency to act like a weirdo. Anjelah even pointed it out today; She said, “Anne, this is why we have no friends.”

I really like how having a healthy learning obsession with Charles Manson makes me so weird that people don’t wish to befriend me. We finally figured out why I’m such a loner child with only imaginary friends!!! It’s because wanting to learn about something that happened, and affected hundreds of thousands of peoples’ minds, makes me weird. Ahh, life – breath it in softly now. Goddamnit, I wish people could open their minds to possibilities.

Finally, after a good few months without a really solid dream that I could recall after the first thirty seconds of being awake, I got a damn good one. I can’t tell whether it was a nightmare, or if it was a dream. I was never frightened, but I was really uncomfortable in certain situations contained in this single memory of this dream. I’m sure I’ll get a writing kick in me, and write the entire dream down – best to my ability, and memory. It might be [yet another] thing that makes me ‘weird.’

My most recent mushroom experience:

I ate enough to get me a little high to see colours and be kind of giggly, but not to the point where I hallucinated. For the most part, I just felt really uncomfortable and awkward. But I gave Anjelah the rest of them, and see had a lovely experience when we were in Forest Park today. I guess she saw a bunch of lizards – it’s weird to me that she liked that part. The forest was beautiful, and I’ll update the picture blog, and put some of the pictures on. It defiantly was a lovely Portland day. The rain felt so lovely at the end of the night.

Luck is a funny thing. I thought I was completely out of grass, and I was a little freaked out. But I was rummaging through a pile of paperwork on my desk, and found a pill bottle with a rather good size nug in it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so relieved in my life. I always seem to lose control of my mind when I’m not stoned. I’m just tired of reminiscing.